This year, the International Women’s Day theme is “Inspire Inclusion.” What does it really mean? How can we be active allies for gender inclusion? One might say, “I already do enough,” or “I really don’t know how.”
In a gender sensitisation workshop, an individual once commented, “The last manager was a woman; she herself didn’t do much for the other women.” What did this individual mean?
What was expected that reflected a significant impact for women? As a woman, for me, this manager’s presence itself made the difference. She was a representation of us within the senior cohort of men; she brought a sense of respect for other women. And personally, she had eased a decision that made an impact on my career growth. Obviously, she did not promote all the women. But that’s exactly what a man would do when leading a team. So why this different perception?
As I introspect, the problem lies in our assessment of what really constitutes being an ally. We believe life-changing events are the only ones that matter, at least with respect to women! You either make a 360-degree impact, or you’ve done nothing.
When we plan changes for ourselves, we take it one step at a time. For example, when we decide to exercise regularly, we work on arms today, legs tomorrow, abs the day after, and then one day rest.
Yet, when we approach a manager to hire more women, there are these million reasons why we can’t do so – women need work-life balance, women want to work close to home, women don’t like aggressive bosses who abuse, and women need frequent leave. A reality check…men quit jobs for the same reasons! Work-life balance isn’t gender-specific; respect at work isn’t a must only for women, and even men want days off to indulge or just do nothing.
We also debate on life events – women will get pregnant and take maternity leave. Well, as a woman, I’m happy for a man to take over the monthly cycle, the nine-month pregnancy, and the pain of delivery – however that is not possible. The truth is that all the new fathers I’ve spoken with would prefer longer paternity leave. Organisations just don’t want to acknowledge that having a child is a life-changing event not just for the mother but also for the father. Fathers today have an equal sense of responsibility and engagement in bringing up a child. Staying up at night is a new experience for both parents, yet organisations debate whether a 5-day or 10-day paternity leave is sufficient.
I remember once having to defend the idea of having an all-women’s sports team for corporate events. The reasons went from not knowing how to play the game to consequences of getting injured – like every man is born with the skills, and for some reason, are all versions of Deadpool!
I could go on and on with the list of such situations I have dealt with over my career, and I’ve not even gone into my personal experiences.
So, here are some suggestions to be a strong Ally:
• Respect women for the value they bring to the table and not for how nature shaped them.
• You don’t necessarily need to have a separate plan for women. Within your existing plans, be fair and inclusive. Give opportunities to all genders and let the best one win!
• Be conscious of your bias and let it not guide your behaviour. Let women try; give them the opportunity to succeed or even fail.
• Don’t mock and wince at what benefits you need to give women for how they are biologically created. Instead, be courageous to ask for what you believe is fair for yourself.
• Crying is not a sign of weakness; women don’t cry for sympathy. It’s a way to let out emotions, just as others do when they voice out some flowery words.
• You’re not expected to go gentle on women; they didn’t ask for it. Women have the courage to be tough and the strength to achieve difficult tasks. So don’t add to the bias by giving women easier targets when compared to male peers.
• Lead by example and help your teams learn to be allies.
Remember, being an ally does not mean you need to do something great to change the world. If each of us makes the effort to change a little in our workspace, collectively with each step, we will be able to bring change in the organisation and from there to the industry and across geographies!
Here’s wishing you the absolute best in your journey to be an Inspiring Ally!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
The author, Anne Williams Dias, is a seasoned HR professional with three decades of corporate experience and currently Head HR with a growing housing finance company. As part of her corporate journey she has managed large teams – across geographies, genders, age groups, ethnicities and culture, being a coach, mentor and leading towards development of careers.
WithAWill© to contribute and pay back, beyond work, she pursued a formal coaching education, and as a Coach specialises in areas of career enhancement, team management, leadership essentials, and self-development.